Commitment Issues in Women

Remember how Carrie Bradshaw literally breaks out into a rash when she tries that wedding gown? If you had been a regular viewer of Sex and the City, then you'd know what I was talking about. Move over boys, the fear of commitment is not a male dominated trait anymore! Commitment issues in women have started knocking on relationship doors as well. Is it a relatively new phenomenon? Or who's to say it wasn't there before? Whatever be the situation, commitment phobia in women is surely making their presence felt, and how! Through this article, let us try and state what some of the reasons are that lead to commitment issues in women and how to solve them.
Fear of Commitment in Women - Reasons
Commitment issues in women (or men) are not developed overnight. There are several factors that lead to fear of commitment in women and many of these are psychological in nature. Several experiences that a person has in her early and growing years have a deep impact on her psyche and determine her behavior patterns. I'll try and elucidate further through these points.
Childhood Factors; One's childhood has a great impact on a person's behavior pattern. If a girl has watched a bad marriage very closely - like her own parents or grandparents and been witness to an abusive relationships like heard the bitter words said and probably even some violence, then she might associate marriage or relationships as bad. If she grows up with this thought process, she might be scarred for life and never be able to commit to someone for the fear of things going bad.
Abandonment; If either parent has abandoned the child and that loss has led to her developing abandonment issues, in early childhood, it might translate over to her youth as well and she will be wary of single parenting. Similarly, if she has had relationship issues in her early dating years and an equally bad fallout from it, she'll find it difficult to commit to anyone. This happens because she fears that she might be abandoned again and will have to go through the hurt and pain yet again.
Emancipation; In the earlier days when women didn't work and had to depend on men for a family and other such social obligations, they were probably not even given the opportunity to have commitment issues or they didn't realize it. As times changed and women began to get emancipated, they no longer needed men for financial support. They could take their own decisions and dictate their own terms in life. This independence could well be the reason for some women to develop commitment issues. Being in a relationship might be equaled to losing one's independence and they definitely do not want to give up living on their own terms.
Signs of Commitment Issues in Women
Here are some fear of commitment signs that you can look for to know about commitment issues in women. ; A woman who is a commitment phobic where relationships are considered will usually also be a commitment phobic about other things in her life. So watch out for those signs carefully. ; If she backs out of plans at the last minute means she is afraid of committing and that pressure of being answerable, where people are dependent on her is a lot for her. ; If she changes her career streams very often, like literally from one week to the other, then there is a high chance she might be a commitment phobic. ; They have a string of very short relationships. These guys are not really great for them in the first place and that is exactly what the women want to do - Not commit. ; Having ridiculous expectations from a person is one other factor that can key you in on a woman who has commitment issues. If the list of 'Must haves' is way too long and complicated, there's a chance that it might never get fulfilled. ; These women never talk about the future because that means commitment. They might get angry when future goals and the like are talked about. ; They also avoid talking about their feelings. They do not like to come out into the open and admit their feelings because then they'll be vulnerable to getting hurt. ; They seem to have a two sided personality in relationships. They might be very caring and considerate one day and very distant the other. ; You choose work and friends over your relationships any day. ; Commitment Phobia Treatment in Women
Unfortunately, this is not a disease that can be cured overnight. It requires the woman to introspect and want to change in the first place. If you are in a relationship with a woman who has a fear of commitment then you'll have to talk to her about it. Maybe she hasn't realized she has a problem. Once you tell her this, don't expect that instantly she'll no longer be a phobic. She might still hold on to her phobia. For this you will have to convince her that you won't leave, that you'll be with her. Do NOT get into trying to be all heroic if you have no intention of staying on. That might make matters worse. When you've convinced her of this, put forward the prospect of talking to a counselor. Which does not directly translate into her having a mental illness, make sure you tell her that. It only means that an expert of that field will be able to get to the root of the issues and guide her better in overcoming them. From your part, all you can do is convince her that you are there for her, if she just does not want to change and seek help, no matter what you do won't help.
Commitment issues in women might be a relatively new phenomenon but the repercussions of that (felt in a relationship) are the same as they would be if it was a commitment phobic man. So man or woman, a commitment phobic is a commitment phobic and a bad sign for any relationship.